That old feeling

July 2004. It was a long rainy day – quite a long while ago. I was trying to fit into this life, I had found for myself. I was staying in an absolutely hilarious hostel, away from home for the first time. The world was beginning to be a strange place for me. New place, new faces, new ways of doing things…. And the lil me refused to fit into this brave new world.
So, I tried to gather all my courage and tell myself that this was going to be a learning experience for me. That I should be stronger. So, I did everything to consume myself but something was amiss. I couldn’t shrug it off that feeling of homesickness.
Then I couldn’t take it anymore. I didn’t want to be strong anymore. I collected few one rupee coins and dashed to Good Luck phone booth (didn’t have mobile then)... I punched the buttons to home, talked to Baba and cried. I told him that I missed him and didn’t know what to do. Poor man, I could hear him choke on the other side. But he assured me that he will meet me tomorrow morning and that it was ok. He filled me up with hope and I thought that I could live another day.
Its that same old feeling today again. I just want to be home. But I can’t make myself cry today. I can only sulk and try to comfort me unsuccessfully. Whatever it might be, I misses my place, my people a lot…