me, myself!!!

The world is conspiring against me…
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
I am sorry but this one is going to be sad and not so entertaining post. I woke today, knowing that this was going to be a difficult day. I guess I was just so determined to make it sulk that I was very successful in creating one for myself.
The prime worry….. I am going to be all by myself for few days. The task seems daunting and excruciating consuming. I can’t be by myself like that. I makes me feel like some sad loner. Anywyas, I managed to cook, talk, read myself. No source of entertain myself .. Radio chose to konk off just when I needed it so.
I had extreme fatigue and fever… All I exactly wanted. Nothing works like bad health to take me to a mental low. I grow psycho-somatic, irritable, incommunicable. Its like body works on mind and then mind works back with brain. And, I lose control over both of them.
I thought.. ok.. lets cook something. Maybe, I shall feel better. Nothing worked.. it only worsen. (Eyes hurt). Could understand what was happening. Giddy and very cold. Didn’t feel like eating either. Ate something. I decided not to call anyone and crib. So, cheer myself up and I thought I shall read myself ‘The Calvin and Hobbes' to sleep. And I did. Laughed… felt better and drove myself to sleep.
Work.. was ok. I did try my best to put up a show of being this extremely funny, boisterous, goofy soul. I was quite successful as I had managed to convince myself also the same. Had a time to wonder of all the non-senses like ‘How many times will they be painting White House to keep it white all the time?’ Talked and talked bullshit. Canteen forjots to give me food. Lost on Free food.
Listened to Alanis Morrisstte and drove back home with my sweet baby. Invited myself into my home with my company. I am sick right with this feeling. Punching the button on keyboard. I wish tomorrow is better. Mindless hip-hop plays on the radio. I really like to research on the social history of hip-hop music… I mean why do they sing what they music. Its all sad, violent and mostly sexed-up. Eyes hurt. I don't know why but sometimes life reduces to counting day!. How will I ever live alll by myself?