When I have the blues...

I wonder why they call it 'the blues'. Blue is such a happy colour. But I cannot handle my blues. I don't know how and when does it engulf me but it does. All of the sudden - everything in and around in my life seems a complete disaster, mess. I have a thousand tons of queries which I cannot answer. Moresoever, I carry a trademark sulking face for everyone right from the watchman to understand that I am not ok. For all strange reasons, even after living for so many years I have never learn the act of faking it right.
So, I sulk everywhere around me. Criticise people and things around me. Take things too seriously. (basically, I live on appreciation and even the minutest critique comes as a big blow in such times) Gradually, I begin to pick on myself. I act like a kid around, trying to attract attention but it is often ignored. Sometimes, miss aai terribly.
All those questions begin to pound in my head. 'what am I doing?', 'why am I doing wat I am doing?', 'Is this the way my life will be?', 'How will my life be?'...... so on and so forth. On a normal days, I can be a powerhouse of non-sense, sit and make everyone laugh over my antics. Even if they are not interested, I make sure that they have to survive me and they is no other way out but to listen to me.
On days like these... I look for solace everywhere around I can. But mostly, I am disappointed. I just cann't find enough energy around to charge me up. So, I try, try and try to deflect me into happier things, try to shed a tear or two and feel relieved and hope that all this sadness vanishes. Most of the times... it does vanish... So, I am waiting today.. waiting from the blues to leave me. Waiting for the madness to come back. I can't live without it.
PS: Maybe it just one of those bad day ... when I want run away from everything.